When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy ... it's pretty
damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured
out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never
have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured
out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR
EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What
was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She
responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing
was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I
opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to
a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different
very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told
her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let
me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain
myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face
just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I
then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not
having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter
than her.